SIGNS YOU’VE CHOSEN A BAD COLLEGE
• On the university seal, the word “college” is spelled with a K.
• The school colors are dark brown and slightly darker brown.
• The mascot is just a guy in a dirty T-shirt holding a “Go Team” sign.
• Every classroom has an “Out of Order” sign taped to the door.
• The “world-renowned” library is a stack of Reader’s Digests in the janitor’s closet.
• Your diploma comes with a coupon for a free sandwich at the campus cafeteria.
• Asked about accreditation, the Dean of Admissions replies, “I think you made up that word.”
TOAST REALLY DOES LAND BUTTER SIDE DOWN _ Does buttered toast really land butter side down? Years ago a researcher at Aston University in Birmingham, England, wrote about a study in a science journal under the title “Tumbling Toast, Murphy’s Law and the Fundamental Constants.” His study demonstrated that when a slice of toast slides off a plate, it tips and spins at a uniform rate. That rate and the average kitchen table’s height virtually guarantee it will land on its face. Or as Matthews put it: “The fate of the toast, whether it lands butter side up or down, boils down to the size of a ratio, and that ratio is the ratio of the size of the toast to the height of the table.”
1 IN 3 PEOPLE HAVE EXPERIENCED A GUEST OVERSTAYING THEIR WELCOME _ A study found that guests who make themselves too comfortable in someone else’s home can cause tension and damage relationships. The study surveyed 2,000 Americans and found that 1 in 3 people had experienced a guest overstaying their welcome, while 1 in 4 had a guest who had damaged their property. The top things that guests do that annoy hosts:
• Not cleaning up after themselves
• Snooping around the house
• Bringing uninvited guests
• Criticizing the host’s home
• Not respecting the host’s rules
