Well, Halloween might be over, but that doesn’t mean I can’t bring you a few reasons WHY IT SUCKS TO BE A ZOMBIE
• Spa days are no fun: facials only remove the bits of face you still have left.
• You have to give up your phone because touchscreens are really hard to use when your fingers are cold and dead.
• Staying a vegetarian is really, really tough.
• Deep snow sucks because if your foot comes off it takes ages to find.
• You have to be careful that your jawbone doesn’t fall off — otherwise you’ve got to puree brains before eating them.
• Every time you lie down for a quick nap you wake up on a slab in the morgue.
CAN NAPPING AT WORK INCREASE YOUR PRODUCTIVITY _ Does your employer let you take a 20 minute snooze in the afternoon? In European countries such as Spain and in many Latin American countries, an afternoon siesta is considered normal. The Wall Street Journal cited a study which found 52 percent of companies had reprimanded or even suspended office-nappers. But naps can help employees and their companies. A Harvard University study showed that worker burnout set in as a day of training wore on. But allowing subjects to take a 30-minute nap after some work prevented further deterioration and a one-hour nap actually boosted performance.
BIZARRE DEATHS! _ Not the ways you want to go.
• In 1751, the French physician and philosopher was honored by his country’s ambassador to Prussia. It’s said that de La Mettrie died from overeating at the feast.
• In 2002 a man in Wales named Richard Sumner handcuffed himself to a tree in a remote forest and tossed the key out of reach. His skeleton was found three years later.
• In 1940, Jamaican political activist, journalist and entrepreneur reportedly suffered a stroke after reading a negative premature obituary about himself.
• In 1947 Langley Collyer of Manhattan, New York, was crushed by giant stacks of newspapers, books and other large items that he’d been hoarding.
