THE EDWARDS FAMILY RECIPE FOR THANKSGIVING TURKEY _ First, set your oven to 350 degrees. After seasoning the turkey with all the usual stuff, begin basting the turkey with equal parts of the following:
• A fifth of vodka
• A fifth of rum
• A fifth of bourbon
• A fifth of gin
After you’ve finished basting, throw out the turkey and drink the gravy.
GIVE CASH FOR CHRISTMAS _ What do most of us want for Christmas? In a survey, 65 percent of Americans would prefer to receive $100 in cash instead of a specific present or a gift card of the same value.
SANTA HAS JUST 34 MICROSECONDS IN EACH HOME _ A study (out of Sweden) found Santa’s Christmas Eve journey to homes around the world may seem impossible, but with 2½ billion homes, he needs only 34-microseconds at each stop. There are 48 people per square kilometer on Earth, and 20 meters between each home. So if Santa travels against the Earth’s rotation he has 48 hours to deliver all the presents.
WHEN YOU ASK A.I. FOR ADVICE _ I asked ChatGPT the following: “What is a random piece of advice you would like to share with the world?” Here’s what artificial intelligence delivered…
• Embrace continuous learning.
• If you have a day off and simply want to stay home and do nothing, don’t tell people you have nothing planned.
• It’s okay to not be friends with someone.
• Cultivate gratitude.
• People aren’t thinking about you as much as you might be worrying about.
• Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.
Actually, some pretty sound advice.
