TOP NICKNAMES COUPLES HAVE FOR EACH OTHER _ The results of an online survey of couples who’ve been together for at least a year.
1. Babe/Baby/Variations
2. Honey
3. Angel
4. Sweetie/Sweetheart/Variations
5. Darling
6. Love
REAL RESUMES, REAL STUPID _ Collected from hiring managers. All true.
• I am very detail-oreinted.
• Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty!
• It’s best for employers that I not work with people.
• Here are my qualifications for you to overlook.
• I am a quick leaner, dependable, and motivated.
• Please disregard the attached resume — it is terribly out of date.
• Graduated in the top 66% of my class.
• Previous experience: Self-employed. It was a fiasco.
• I have a bachelorette degree in computers.
• Referees available upon request.
WEIRD SMARTPHONE APPS
• iFart: An app that produces fart noises.
• iBeer: An app that transforms your phone’s screen into a beer.
• Places I’ve Pooped: An app that allows you to mark the locations where you’ve pooped
• Run Pee: An app that tells you the best time to run and pee during a movie without missing the best scenes
• Pimple Popper: An app that allows you to pop virtual pimples for fun
• Crack My Screen: Prank app that makes it look like your phone’s screen is cracked.
