THE SINGLE BEST PREDICTOR OF DIVORCE _ Dr. John Gottman studied couples for decades and concluded that the biggest single predictor of divorce is when one or both partners show contempt in the relationship. There is absolutely no respect left at all — only negative judgement, criticism, or sarcasm thrown at each other. Here are four ways you show contempt:
• “You” language — “you should…,” “you need to…,” “you have to…,” “you’d better…”
• Universal statements — Using the words “always,” “every time,” “such a,” and “everyone.” “You always leave the toilet seat up,” for example. “You’re such a slob!”
• Tough on the person, soft on the issue — “You are so stupid” instead of “you’re a smart person, and what you did this morning was not very smart.”
• Invalidate feelings — You notice emotions, positive or negative, coming out of a person, and you either discount them, or ignore them completely. “Your concerns are meaningless to me!” “You’re blowing things way out of proportion.”
EVEN THE FRENCH KNOW THEY’RE A NATION OF GRUMBLERS _ Many may already see France as a nation of grumblers, and a survey shows the French agree. The poll found that 93 percent of French people think their compatriots grumble often, although only 37 percent admit they tend to complain. Men were the grumpier of the two sexes, said 43 percent of respondents, with around one in five men saying they moaned to get what they wanted compared with 16 percent of women. One in four said carping was a way of relaxing.
(With tongue firmly in cheek) CAMPING TIPS:
• When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant.
• Unwrap and leave a few chocolate bars out in the hot sun. When the evening comes, you can have chocolate covered ants.
• Lint from your navel makes a handy fire starter. Remove lint from navel before applying the match.
• Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.
• Bear bells provide an element of safety for hikers in grizzly country. Wait until the bears are resting before applying the bells.
