HOW IN THE WORLD ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO EAT TACOS? _ A British guy had a taco emergency and asked for input on reddit. “I’m a Brit, and the only experience I really have with tacos is the Old El Paso brand they sell in supermarkets. But honestly — I take one bite and the entire thing collapses like a house of cards. The only way I’ve ever been able to enjoy a meal is by deliberately breaking them up and scooping up the debris with a spoon. Am I just bad at eating tacos?” And the internet came to his rescue…
• Turn your head not the taco.
• I just turn mine into salads. Crush up the taco shells into bite-size pieces and put it in a bowl with the rest of the ingredients.
• You put a soft tortilla on the plate. Eat a taco over it, then fold up the soft tortilla and eat all the stuff that fell into it.
• Spread a thin layer of refried beans on a soft tortilla, then wrap your crunchy shell in that, like a taco inside a taco. That adds the structural integrity that keeps the mess down.
MONSTROUSLY MARKED-UP PRODUCTS
• Razor blades: They cost as little as 25 cents to make but consumers are charged up to $4 a piece.
• Bottled water: For the price of a single bottle of Evian bottled water, you could pay for 1,000 gallons of municipal tap water.
• Wine in restaurants: The average retail markup on a bottle of wine in a restaurant is 300 percent.
• Diamonds: Retailers mark up diamonds between 50 and 200 percent.
• Wedding dresses: They retail for at least 100 percent more than the wholesale price.
• Popcorn: When a consumer has no other option, he’ll pay the 1300% markup on a large tub of theater popcorn.
• Designer handbags: High-end designer handbags can have markups of up to 1,000 percent over production costs.
WHAT’S YOUR MASTER PUNCHLINE? _ A TikToker named Chelsea says she collects “master punchlines” — punchlines that can be used in different scenarios. The best example is “That’s what she said.” Master punchlines used by people in the comments:
• “No thanks, I’m trying to quit” when offered virtually anything.
• My grandpa, who couldn’t hear, instead of saying “what?” would say “Kill who?”
• Mine will always be when someone offers something — a glass of water, cookie, whatever — and say, “Oh no, I can’t, I’m driving.”
• At the most benign event or near miss, I like to say, “”That could have been fatal.”
• When someone doesn’t know what something is and I have to explain it I end it with: “It’s huge in Japan”
• After someone says something mundane like “I need to get gas,” I like to reply with “That’s what they want you think.”
