THE LAWS
• Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
• Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
• Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
• Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
• Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
• Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, someone knocks at the front door.
• Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
• Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine or gadget won’t work, it will.
• Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
• Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
• Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
THREE EXTRA SODAS PER DAY CAN KILL YOU _ A steady diet of sodas could hinder your ability to reproduce or even shorten your life. Researchers (University of Utah) gave mice a diet of 25 percent sugar — equivalent to three extra sodas per day in people — and found the males less likely to reproduce or defend their territory. Females had it worse, dying at double their normal rate. The mice weren’t fatter and would have passed physicals, despite the negative health impacts — so the sugar’s toxic damage is all “under the hood.”
THE CYNICS GUIDE TO LIFE _ If you agree with most of these, you’re likely a cynic.
• The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
• I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks, and a ball game gets rained out, and a car rusts…
• Always take time to stop and smell the roses… and sooner or later, you’ll inhale a bee.
• Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either, just leave me alone.
• It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal something from the neighbor’s garage, that’s the time to do it.
