From today’s show : ‘SEE YOUR FOLKS’ ESTIMATES HOW MANY MORE TIMES YOU’LL SEE YOUR PARENTS _ This could be one of the most morbid websites out there. See Your Folks will scare you into visiting your parents more by estimating how many times you have left to see them before they die. The site asks you which country your parents live in, how many times a year you visit them, and your parents’ ages. Then, based on the World Health Organization’s life expectancy data, you get a number — the number of times you can expect to see your parents before they die. • LINK
WHAT TEENS AND CATS HAVE IN COMMON
• Neither teenagers nor cats turn their heads when you call them by name.
• You rarely see a cat walking outside of the house with an adult human being, and it can be safely said that no teen in their right mind wants to be seen in public with their parents.
• Even if you tell jokes as well as Jim Gaffigan, neither your cat nor you teen will ever crack a smile.
• No cat or teen shares you taste in music.
• Cats and teens can lie on the living-room sofa for hours on end without moving, barely breathing.
• Cats and teens yawn in exactly the same manner, communicating that ultimate human ecstasy — a sense of complete and utter boredom.
• Cats and teens do not improve anyone’s furniture.
WEIRDEST HALLOWEEN ‘TREATS’ What’s the weirdest thing you kid brought home on Halloween night? On reddit, people shared the weirdest “treats” they received.
• “Pretty sure the potholder with three cows on it was the weirdest thing ever. At least it was new… it still had a store tag on it.”
• “Peppermints. The circular, striped candies people put out at Christmas. I guess it’s easier… buy a few big bags of peppermints and you’re all set for Halloween right through the holidays.”
• “When I was a kid a lady on our block would buy packs of baseball cards and put one in each kids’ trick-or-treat sack. We moved to a new home after nine years and my parents always joke they wanted to move sooner but wanted me to have a whole ‘team’ of cards.”
• “Small ziplock bags of dog treats. Until the year the homeowner found out we didn’t own a dog… then we started getting real candy. I think they had us mixed up with someone else.”
