PARENTS SAID THESE THINGS TO THEIR CHILDREN _ As a parent, you’re constantly instructing your children. Most of the time you’re dishing out simple instructions such as, “Please move closer to the table” and “Stop touching your sister.” Then there are the things you say to your child you never, ever thought would come out of your mouth. In a survey, parents admitted they said these things to their children:
• “You may not drink the jelly. Take the straw out, put the lid on the jar, and put it back in the fridge.”
• “We don’t stab people in the butt with forks.”
• “Stop sniffing your dad’s shoe. We are in public.”
• “Stop licking your brother.”
• “Stop riding the baby like a pony.”
TURKEYS FOUND TO BE INFLATED WITH BICYCLE PUMPS _ The Spokane, Washington, newspaper shared a Thanksgiving-related news item from over 100 years ago. “Spokane’s health officer said he had discovered a new and insidious Thanksgiving scam. Some local grocers were inflating their turkeys with bicycle pumps. This made scrawny turkeys look nice and plump. Apparently, the grocers were sticking a hollow needle under the skin of the turkey and then pumping air into them. The health officer said, ‘We would advise the public to look over the turkeys and press them with their fingers. If the impression puffs right out after the finger is lifted, it is pretty certain that air is underneath the skin.’ One grocer who was caught with an inflated turkey said that it was only for ‘advertising purposes’ for birds on display and he was not actually selling these turkeys to the public.”
QUESTIONS WE DREAD AT FAMILY GATHERINGS: What questions do you dread getting from family members you only see once or twice a year?
• What’s your new year’s resolution?
• Is marriage/engagement on the cards?
• When are you going to have children? When are you going to have another child?
• Have you got a boyfriend/girlfriend?
• (After a divorce or losing a spouse…) When are you going to start dating again?
• How’s the job hunt going?
• When are you buying a house?
• Why don’t we see you more often?
