TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP ALIVE, SAY THESE 5 THINGS
• “Thank you.” Psychotherapist and relationship coach Toni Coleman says, “Gratitude is something we all need and seek from our partners.” By saying thank you she says, “we demonstrate that we recognize our spouses’ contributions and value what they bring to our life and to the relationship. It also offers positive reinforcement that leads to a partner making a continued effort because what they do is recognized and appreciated.”
• “I appreciate what you do for us.” Consider this phrase the close cousin of thank you.
• “I’ve got your back.” Everyone needs a little reassurance — especially during the tough times that marriages face. That can be especially true when our partners let us down. When a partner screws up, this reassurance can go a long way to help them move forward in a positive direction.
• “You’re just right — just the way you are.” In your wedding vows, you offered your spouse unconditional love. And when you say these words “you’re offering that unconditional love,” says Coleman.
• “I care about your feelings and needs and value what you have to say.” While we don’t always have to agree with our spouses, fully listening and accepting them is still possible and essential when two people are struggling with an issue that they have very different feelings about or proposed solutions to.
THE EXACT AGE WHEN MID-LIFE SUCKS THE MOST _ If you’re on the near side of middle age and feel yourself getting a little bit unhappier every year, there’s good news and bad news. The bad news: it’s going to get worse before it gets better. The good news? It gets better. And you’re not alone. A Dartmouth professor (David Blanchflower) studied humans all over the world and found that all humans, regardless of location and economic well being, experience a U-shaped happiness curve that hits its lowest point in the late 40s. For people in developed nations it’s 47.2; in developing nations it’s 48.2. The data covered 132 countries in all regions of the world. Parents are neither immune nor more highly disposed to experiencing this unhappiness, although that unhappiness may worsen or be harder to shake based on economic well being.
LET’S DO SOME LAUNDRY (FACTS)
• The average American family does 8–10 loads of laundry each week.
• A single load of laundry, from wash to dry, takes an average of one hour and twenty seven minutes to complete.
• U.S. consumers wash more than 660 million loads every week, or about 35 billion wash loads a year, totaling 100 million tons of clothes. That translates to 1,000 wash loads started in the United States every second of every day.
• Women do 88 percent of the laundry.
• Fifty percent of all loads are washed in warm water, 35 percent in cold and 15 percent in hot. Ninety percent of all wash loads are put in a dryer.
