WHY WE CAN’T STOP SAYING ‘SORRY’ _ If you find yourself apologizing to the person who bumped into you at the grocery store, you aren’t just being polite — you might actually be using a survival strategy from your past. According to Psychology Today, many chronic over-apologizers were raised by parents who blamed them for things beyond their control, teaching them that a quick “sorry” was the only way to stay safe. Psychotherapist Pete Walker calls this the “fawn response,” a trauma reaction where we reflexively appease others to avoid any hint of conflict or criticism. It’s often a sign of deep-seated emotional neglect; research from the CDC suggests that when our childhood needs are treated as inconveniences, we grow up feeling like our very presence requires a constant justification. While it feels like you’re being “nice,” Kristin Neff from the University of Texas warns that this lack of self-compassion can actually tank your professional confidence and erode your self-worth over time. It’s time to realize that you don’t owe the world an apology for simply taking up space, and breaking the habit starts with noticing the “sorry” before it leaves your lips.
WHAT IS YOUR GOLDEN RULE?
• Knock before opening any closed doors.
• Don’t base long term decisions on short term emotions.
• Under-promise, over-deliver.
• Have more than you show, speak less than you know.
• You can always learn something from anyone.
• Never assume someone is as smart as you, never assume that you are smarter than anyone.
• Always be on time.
• Be the person your dog thinks you are.
LEAVE ME ALONE WHEN I’M EATING LUNCH _ Many people want to spend their lunch breaks alone — not at a table with others while being forced to have a conversation. A woman shared on social media that managers and coworkers need to see a solo diner as normal, not as someone to fill 30 or 60 minutes of time with in conversation. They wrote: “Several years ago, I went out to my car at lunch to eat and then take a nap, and I had a co-worker from another department see me and knock on my window to talk to me. I may have even had my seat reclined by that point. You shouldn’t interrupt someone in their private space on their unpaid break time just to chit chat. I started driving my car over to a different, more secluded parking lot at lunchtime after that!” [The transition from the breakroom to a secondary, secret parking lot is the corporate equivalent of witness protection, just with more crumbs.]
